Future Chambong Products and Dirty Jokes
A little over a week ago we asked the Chambong community (the ChamFamily) to submit their feedback about new products and more ways to be awesome. Chambonging is a shared experience after all, and so we believe our company should also be. Plus the ChamFamily is the most rad collection of people ever, so of course they are going to have some fucking awesome ideas! Needless to say, the response from the community was fantastic. We're already making huge strides to begin developing what you asked for. We're also going to begin publishing more on the ChamBlog to give a more inside look of what we're up to, and current happenings. We'll be posting about the new products, the stages they are in, topless photos of the CEO, dirty jokes...you know, everything a person could want. So make sure keep posted or subscribe to our email list for updates.
Speaking of dirty jokes, it's a section of our Feedback Poll that the community excelled in. For realz. While I did censor maybe one or two of the jokes (don't get me wrong, I LOVE politically incorrect jokes -- but you know, some people), below are the rest of them you shared. I should write some sort of disclaimer about how the views of the communities jokes don't reflect those of blah blah blah, but fuck it. You get it. CHEERS!
What is pink, goes in hard and dry and comes out soft and wet?
Bubble gum, you dirty mind
What's the worst thing you could hear while giving Willie Nelson a blow job?
I'm not Willie Nelson
What do rednecks do on Halloween?
What did the Five Fingers say to the Face?
What's the difference between a garbanzo bean and chickpea?
I don't pay hookers $300 for garbanzo beans on my face.
Woman goes into a bar, says Beertender, Beertender give me a martooni for my heartburn! the woman, obviously drunk, repeats again, beertender, beertender, bring me a martooni for my heartburn. the bartender finally goes over to her and says, lady I'm a bartender not a beertender, it's a martini not a martooni, and you don't have heartburn,... your tits are in the ash tray!
There are these 3 dwarf brothers. 1 with really small hands, 1 with really small feet and 1 with a really small dick. The find out that if they are able to get into The Guiness Book of World Records that each one of would receive $10,000! Hearing this, they set out to the Guiness Book of World Records headquarters. It was an arduous journey but the 3 of them made it safely. Upon arrival, the first brother walks up to the secretary and exclaims "I have the smallest hands in the world and I'm here to prove it!" The secretary looks at the man's hands and says "why you just may!" And she ushered him into her boss' office for the proper measurements to be taken. His brothers wait patiently in the seating area while this is all happening. 1 minute goes by, then a second, and then BOOM! The door to the office comes flying open and the dwarf comes out screaming "I've got it! I've got the smallest hands in the world!" He then proceeded to show his brothers the check he was given for $10,000 as proof of getting the new world record. The brothers rejoice and scheme of ways to spend the dough. Then the 2nd brother gathers up his courage and walks up to the secretary and says "I have the smallest feet in the world and I'm here to prove it!" The other brothers, feeling good at this point, say "yes it's true! His feet are like a baby's! Truly the smallest the world has ever seen!" The secretary then takes the small footed brother into her boss' office for measurement. Meanwhile the other 2 brothers wait. 1 minute goes by, then 2, the 5....And then BOOM! The door flys open and the brother comes out laughing and dancing with his tiny little feet singing "I did it! I've got the smallest feet in the world! In the WORLD!" The 3 brothers again rejoice as he shows then the check for $10,000 that he too had received. Then, after a few moments of celebration, the small handed and small footed brothers look to their brother with the small dick. He looks nervous but they try to cheer him up saying things like "you've got the tiniest dick in the world! There is just no way you'll lose! And we literally didn't know you had a dick until you told us, we thought we had a sister!" Finally, with adrenaline and courage coursing through his veins he walks over to the secretary and says "I'm here to prove that I have the tiniest, most minuscule, pathetic little prick on the planet!" He pulls his pants down and immediately the secretary starts to giggle. She then says "there is no doubt in MY mind that you do have the smallest dick in the world!" and she leads the young dwarf into her boss' office as she had with the other 2 brothers. As the brothers wait outside in the seating area scheming of all the different things they could spend their money on they realize that it's already been a couple minutes. Then 5 minutes go by, then 10. The a half and hour until finally, the door slowly opens and their brother comes walking out slowly. Small hand and small feet just start asking "What happened? What took so long? There is no way you could lose this! You've got the most pathetic nub you call a prick anyone has ever seen!" Then their brother slowly shaking his head looks up. They can see the tears he's been trying to hide. They continue to excitedly say, "you're dick is smaller than a bug's there's no WAY you could lose!" The third brother finally is able to pull himself together. He looks at them both and says "Who the FUCK are the makers of Chambong?!?!